...and it has nothing to do with me.

You know, I have made mistakes. We all make them. I have no problem being held accountable for my mistakes and suffering the consequences of my actions. What I have no tolerance for is being held accountable for someone else's actions. I'm heartbroken over being told to never have any type of contact with my nephew because my sister hates our dad. News flash big sister: we ALL hate him. You are quite possibly the most selfish person I have ever known, and that hurts me to say because you are my sister. You didn't like how he treated you? Guess what? Neither did I. But unlike you, I've placed blame where it belongs. I don't punish people who love me because of someone else. I hate that man quite possibly more than you. You want nothing to do with anyone related to him? You better pack your son off then because like it or not, HE'S related to that bastard too. I hope you stay safe in Afghanistan, because you are my sister and I love you no matter how insecure, selfish, and petty I think you're acting. Please grow up before it's too late.

But at least I realize it...

So, I am a horrible mother. Yes, that's right. I said it. I always knew I was entirely too selfish to make a good parent, and that is why I never intentionally had children. I have had Jarod home with me for the past few weeks for the summer. I love him more than anything, but I miss having the freedom to come and go as I choose. It makes me sad because it's not Jarod's fault. I'm just a horrible person.

When I'm sorry doesn't seem to be enough...

So, it is apparent that I did something incredibly stupid and hurt/pissed off one of my very best friends who now refuses to speak to me. Upon reflection, I think I might know what it was, but I'm not sure. For all I know it could have been multiple things. I didn't even know she was upset with me until I talked to her husband. I've done what I can do for now, and all that's left is to give her some space, but I'm not sure what else I can do. :(