Managing Stress and the Sound of I Love You

Had my first anthropology class today. I have a feeling this will be the longest 3.25 hours of my life, twice a week. I should be sleeping in the hopes that there will be something for me to do at work tonight. That there may not be has me concerned. Like most everyone breathing nowadays, I have bills that must be paid. No work means no bill paying. I'm not the type of person that needs a lot, or wants much beyond those things that I need. It would be nice, for just a little while, to be able to provide those things without half killing myself to do it. And then falling short, at that. Of course, my life is all about stress management, and the ability to juggle multiple crises at a time. I'm not sure I could ever trust anything I didn't have to fight tooth and nail for. I'd always be waiting in the back of my head for the other shoe to drop, always looking for the strings that are invariably attached. But I do somehow find a way. Maybe not be be ahead, but to not fall so far behind that I'm homeless. I'm an expert at getting by, and I'm so tired of just getting by. This is why I'm back in school. I don't want a job. I want a career doing something I love, that I'm good at, and that will make a difference. I'm going to be a teacher. I'll never get rich teaching. It's a good thing I don't want much. But I value far more than material things those things that are intangible. The sudden look of comprehension on someone's face when they finally understand something. The smiles of achievement when hard work is met with recognition. And maybe, just maybe, someone will learn to appreciate those people that are around them, helping them along their way. So it is the intangible that I am so desperately craving to help keep the stress away. I'd give my left kidney for a tender embrace, a kiss on the forehead, and a softly whispered, "You'll be ok. I love you." But I will manage without. You'd be surprised what I can do without and still manage to keep on going. I'm small, but mighty.